What are the possible psychological reasons behind non-sexual fantasies about being physically hurt, and are they consid

Short answer

There is no single agreed psychological explanation for fantasies about being physically hurt, and most research looks at related topics like BDSM, self-harm, and violent fantasy rather than these exact non-sexual fantasies [1][76]. Still, the available evidence suggests they are fairly common and are often about deeper emotional needs like rest, care, control, or relief, not about actually wanting harm [20][25][80]. Fantasies alone are not considered a mental health problem when they cause no distress and do not put anyone at risk [75][91].

Possible psychological reasons

• There is no simple “trauma” story. Proposed explanations include childhood experiences, the suppression of forbidden fantasies, and childhood trauma, but researchers say there is no universally accepted explanation [1][71][72][76]. Trauma is not consistently supported as the cause. One nationally representative Australian survey found no significant link between childhood sexual abuse before age 16 and later BDSM participation [15]. Many people in a recent study reported an intrinsic interest starting from a young age, with only a smaller number connecting it to childhood abuse or parental discipline [73].

• The fantasy may not really be about pain. In BDSM, pain is often used as a tool for power dynamics rather than being the main point [5]. Some practitioners say the idea or threat of pain, not pain itself, is their main source of pleasure [6]. General research on fantasy also notes that content can symbolize themes like power, vulnerability, safety, control, or freedom from pressure [87][88].

• Hurt-and-comfort fantasies can process emotions. Many people use “hurt and comfort” fantasies to process sad or difficult feelings [17]. First-person accounts describe fantasies and dreams about horrible things happening while also wanting help and comfort [16].

• A “hospital fantasy” can really be a rest fantasy. A recurring fantasy of hospitalization or being hurt can work as an “externally imposed permission structure” for rest, care, and being off duty [18][19][20]. The center of the fantasy is usually care, relief, and being taken away from responsibility, not a wish to be harmed [20][21][22]. It can reflect exhaustion and a longing for permission, especially among people who grew up believing rest had to be earned [23][30]. Chronic burnout can make ordinary rest feel worthless, so a crisis comes to feel like the only believable way to stop [24][26]. If someone learned in childhood that care had to be earned through performance or illness, then resting without a crisis can feel wrong [27][28].

• Stress relief and mental escape are common motives. Many people report that SM play is a major source of stress relief [7]. Physiological stress from pain may reduce psychological stress [8]. Pain can create a mindfulness-like state that focuses a person on the present and helps them forget daily worries [9][69][70]. In one study, the most common reason given was exchanging power with another person, followed by entering an alternative, meditative state [69].

• Control, consent, and relationships matter. In SM, pain is voluntary and can usually be stopped with a safe-word, so the person has some control over the experience [10]. Submissives also report more pleasure from pain when they feel they are pleasing their dominant partner [11]. Fantasies in general can give confidence and a sense of control by letting a person rehearse how they would deal with a situation [97].

• Some hurt-related fantasies connect to self-harm urges. Self-harm is described as hurting oneself to cope, and it is often not a suicide attempt [34][35][56]. People report self-harming to release painful emotions, distract themselves, feel something when numb, gain control, punish themselves, express emotions they cannot share, or communicate distress [33][36][37][38][39][40][41][43][44][45][46][58][59][60][61][62]. Some describe it as a way of staying alive by coping with severe distress [67]. It can also be a response to intrusive thoughts [63]. Pain can trigger brain chemicals that make a person feel better for a short time [49]. However, these are explanations for self-harm behavior and urges, not necessarily explanations for non-sexual hurt fantasies. Sources that describe care-seeking hospital fantasies explicitly distinguish them from self-harm intent [21][22].

• General fantasy functions include being a “safety valve.” Violent and negative fantasies can act as a safe way to discharge strong emotions [80], contain or relieve anxiety [81], and cope with aggression or anger [82]. Negative fantasies can also be attempts to prepare for something feared, or a way of punishing oneself [94]. Some people develop this pattern in childhood as a way to escape difficult experiences [96].

Are these fantasies normal?

The evidence says they are common for many people.

• BDSM-related fantasies are common. One study found that 40 to 70 percent of people reported fantasies about BDSM-related acts [68]. A Belgian general population sample found that 22 percent of people reported having BDSM-related fantasies [2]. Interest and fantasies are more common than actually practicing BDSM [3].
• Fantasies in general are described as a healthy and normal part of everyday life [95].
• Violent fantasies are also common in ordinary, non-criminal populations. One study found that 68 percent of college students reported having at least one homicidal fantasy, and another found that 47 percent reported a recent fantasy of killing someone [78][79]. These fantasies were not consistently linked to dangerous behavior [84].
• Neither BDSM interest nor masochistic interest is automatically a sign of psychological problems. The ICD-11 removed sadomasochism from the list of paraphilic disorders partly because it is usually consensual [14]. One study found that SM practitioners were less neurotic, more open, and more securely attached than average [13]. Recent research suggests good psychological health among BDSM practitioners [74].
• A masochistic interest is not considered a disorder if the person feels no distress, anxiety, guilt, or shame about it and it does not get in the way of daily life [75].
• A fantasy is a thought, not a command. Many people imagine scenarios they would never choose in real life [89][90]. There is no single “normal” fantasy content that applies to everyone [86].

When should it be taken seriously?

• Concern is raised not by unusual content alone, but by distress, feeling compelled, feeling unsafe, or risk of harming yourself or others [91].
• Masochistic interest becomes a disorder only when it causes distress or impairment [75].
• Vivid mental images of self-harm are a separate concern. Research shows these images track closely with self-harm urges and can increase the short-term risk of actually harming oneself [51][52][53][54][55].
• Self-harm is more common among people with trauma or abuse histories, certain mental health conditions, and current or past difficult experiences [47][48][64][65][66]. If self-harm urges or behavior are present, that is different from a harmless hurt-and-comfort fantasy [21][22].

What the evidence does not answer

The available research does not provide one clear, accepted explanation for non-sexual fantasies about being physically hurt. Most evidence comes from BDSM research, self-harm research, and general research on violent fantasy, not from studies focused directly on the exact experience you asked about [1][76]. So the reasons above should be read as possible explanations rather than proven causes.