Can a partner actually feel the strings of a copper IUD during sex, and what can be done to reduce discomfort if they ca

Short answer

Yes, a partner can sometimes feel the strings of an IUD during sex, but it is usually not painful. The IUD itself sits inside the uterus, so only the thin plastic strings hang down into the vaginal area [36][52][90]. The strings are very thin and made of plastic, so feeling them should not hurt [7][8]. The chance of an IUD actually hurting a partner is described as really low [41], and IUD strings poking a partner's penis is described as extremely rare [42].

That said, some partners do notice them. One source says there is a small chance a partner will feel the strings [89], and another notes the strings may come and go over time [4][48]. A partner with a penis probably will not feel them too intensely, but they may be easier to notice during fingering [40][75][39][74].

Why it is possible to feel them

When an IUD is placed correctly, it rests inside the uterus and only the strings are in the vagina [13][63]. The strings are usually high enough that they should not be felt, but sometimes they can be [13][63]. They hang down as one or two plastic strings, often about 2 inches long [38][73].

The strings also change over time. They can soften and curl around the cervix, which makes them harder or impossible to feel [93][92][103]. But this softening can take a few months, so partners may feel the strings during vaginal sex in the first few months after insertion [81][85][91][104]. Once the strings soften, they become much less noticeable [81]. Partner sensitivity also varies, so some people may never notice the strings at all [82].

Some sources are more reassuring: the strings are soft and flexible, usually curl up in the back of the vagina, and most partners are not able to feel them at all [51]. Planned Parenthood similarly says partners usually cannot feel them [78].

What can help reduce discomfort

• Use condoms to soften the sensation for the partner [1][45].
• Try curling the IUD strings up closer to the cervix [2][46].
• Wait for the strings to soften, since they often soften after the IUD has been in place for a few months [91][81][104][21][94].
• Ask a doctor or nurse to check the threads, especially if the partner can feel them and it is a problem [44][109].
• Ask a healthcare professional about trimming overly long strings or curling them so they are less noticeable [37][72][84][80].
• Clinicians often leave the strings about 3 cm long so they curl up in the back of the vagina and do not poke [55].

There are some trade-offs with trimming. If the strings are cut shorter, they may stick out straight, which is not ideal [20][35][70]. Cutting them very close to the cervix may stop the partner from feeling them but can make removal harder [19][34][69]. Shorter strings can also make self-checking more difficult [80][87]. If the strings feel "pokey," it may be because they were trimmed too close to the cervix [54].

When to see a clinician

If the partner feels the IUD itself or hard plastic during sex, contact a doctor, because the IUD may have moved or may not have been placed correctly [10][12][15][16]. A sudden increase in how noticeable the strings feel could also indicate displacement [83]. A poking string during sex can be a sign that the IUD is not positioned correctly or that the strings are too long [102]. In rare cases, an IUD that is too low can be felt as a partial expulsion, and a clinician would typically recommend removing and replacing it [53].

If the partner keeps feeling the strings during sex, consult a healthcare professional who can examine the IUD and advise next steps [106]. Penetration that becomes uncomfortable or painful, or strings that feel sharp, pointy, or crooked, are also reasons to see a clinician [108][107].